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JaredKlief

The Sprite Wars Joke Section

16 posts in this topic

Hey, fellas! I've created this thread for us to share a few full-hearted laughs, something to lighten up the day when the going gets rough or you just needed something to pick you up from a gloomy day. Let me start this up with a few shorts:

Scientists finally found out, how much sleep humans exactly need..

...just five more minutes.

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This new thesaurus I bought is the worst..

Not only is it terrible, it's terrible.

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A grasshopper walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Hey, we have a drink named after you!" 

The grasshopper looks surprised and asks, "You have a drink named Steve?"

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“Ever since she lost her job, my wife’s identical twin sister is living with us until she gets on her feet,” I told my friend.

He asked, “Just want to know, how do you tell them apart?”

“Why should I?”

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My grandfather survived both the Hiroshima and Nagasaki bombings..

Being in Canada helped.

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Job interviewer: “So, where would you see yourself in five years’ time?"

Me: "Personally I believe my biggest weakness is in listening."

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A farmer had 196 cows in his field..

When he rounded them up he had 200.

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Three blonds are out walking in the Forest when they come across a set of tracks..

“Those are deer tracks!” Said the first.

“No! They’re antelope tracks!” Said the second

“Oh no... they are definitely bear tracks!”said the third.

They were still arguing when the train hit them.

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I've scoured the celestial bodies for humor..

The real joke's always in the comets.

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What’s worse than ants in your pants?

Uncles.

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