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Sprite Wars


Retired Staff/Founding Fathers
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Cassavates last won the day on October 24 2009

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About Cassavates

  • Birthday 01/11/1993

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    Wouldn't you like to know...
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    Being intersting is my interest.

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  1. Not to mention they had that colonel who was only in the first two missions and then never seen again. Maybe the attacks in the suburbs made them send in more troops to investigate? I wouldn't try too hard to understand the logic of this goofy-ass game.
  2. One can only hope that the sequel isn't as bad as the first one, or the Red Dawn remake. Then again, it's gonna be pretty hard to top that stupid piece of crap (like Rianna's flip-flopping personality WITHIN MINUTES OF THE SAME LEVEL). Personally, I think I'll stick to Freedom Fighters. I've also heard Milius didn't even actually write the damn thing. His name got slapped on for name value.
  3. That trailer was great. Petition to call Fallout 4 "Fallout: Dogmeat" in the same vein that people did with COD Ghosts over Riley.
  4. Don't you mean "gey psyched" regarding Doom? Hehe. I'm looking forward to that, among other things.
  5. Good luck, with kicking you addictions, and with your wife-to-be and your child.
  6. In that case, they're probably even MORE likely to get sued.
  7. Cassavates


    I really hate stealth sections in games that don't need them. I'm not good at sneaking and it kicks up my anxiety to high heaven.
  8. Cass, I remember back before you left in May you had a thread in the "Writer's guild" topic about the Battle for the Milky way story. Why did you delete it?

  9. "youre a spaceman harry welcome to the space jam"

  10. Hey y'all, it's me, Cass. Those of you from the old guard of SW might remember me as the dude who did stuff...and things...and then waged a war against Guest in GC2. Anyways, I've decided to return, though I have no guarantees about how active I'll be. So yeah...hi.
  11. People of Sprite Wars, tomorrow marks five years since I joined this humble site, starting off as a very inexperienced sprite comic maker to a guy who had to stop due to the death of a PC and write walls of text from then on instead. I’ve come a long way from then and I’ve made some good friends along the way, and I feel as if going to this place shaped me for the better. And it’s with that I must say that, after discussing amongst a few who shall not be named, I’ve decided it’s time to say goodbye. Over the past couple of months I’ve begun to lose interest in this site, hardly any new people come to stay, those who do toddle off after a week or two, the veteran members who are still around either barely have the time to do anything or the will to, campaigns start just to die after a while due to drama that causes people to leave or lack of interest or due to things coming up, I barely even look at the campaign forums because I don’t feel like dealing with the almost childish BS that may ensue. And I know I’m not the only one who feels like this, but I can see that the spark to keep this place going has burned out. Such as it is. Now this does not mean I am abandoning forumming in general, or my reviews, I am still very active on another site and those who are interested in joining are welcome to here. We don’t do spriting campaigns but we have a decent enough community (Don’t let the name fool you, they stopped being a Halo fan forum a long time ago), and I’m sure you’ll be welcomed and treated with respect there so long as you treat them with respect as well. You’ll also need to obtain ten posts before you get to see a chunk of the forum, something they’ve done to keep out the spammers and the sprite thieves. I hope to maintain the friendships I’ve made for as long as I can, and for those of you who I may never speak to again, I wish you all the best in the future. Thank you all so much for five great years, for trusting me with the position of Watchman and for helping me through tough times and helping to forge the person I am today. Farewell. Weep not for roads untraveled Weep not for paths left lone Cause beyond every bend is a long blinding end Its the worst kind of pain I've know
  12. Ladies and Gentlemen, after much delay and a lack of motivation thanks to my very tiring job stocking shelves I’ve finally gotten off my ass to write a review. Two, actually. At the same time. One will be rather short and the other will be the main event itself. Actually, I’d like to begin with extending a warm welcome to my viewers in the CIA and NSA. Since you guys have been monitoring my stuff since the beginning, you either think I’m a future crazy gunman (spoilers, I’m not) or you find it entertaining. To start off, allow me to give my thoughts about 2013 in gaming so far. To be honest, from what I’ve seen the results are…mixed at best, it seems that we had a pattern in which for every good game that came out there was at least one that was bad or at the least lackluster. Starting off in February was probably the worst game of the year for me, and I still don’t think it’s as bad as people put it out to be. Yup, Colonial Marines, more of a huge disappointment rather than a complete disaster along the lines of Battleship, but had a very low standing with the general public to say the least. However, things kicked up in the middle with Tomb Raider, Bioshock Infinite…just to get washed away in a typhoon by –from what I’ve heard- a massive fail that was Dead Island Riptide. Luckily for us, there was still the incredibly hilarious Blood Dragon to save the day, and then Metro Last Light and State of Decay to go and bring our happiness down, but in a good way. Is the rest of the year going to be –dare I use terminology of twelve year-olds- “Xboned”? Nah, I don’t think so, but we’ll have to wait and see. So, what comes to mind when you think of mindless shooters? Eh… Am I gonna have to stab a motherfu- There we go. Yes, in this day of Modern Warfare and crappy movie-licensed games, it’s hard to find any games that have any…shall we say “substance” to them. Whether that’s a good story, interesting characters, weight to weapons, decent graphics, a creepy atmosphere, an incredibly awesome soundtrack, or just not being nothing like the fans were expecting. Last year we started getting some of those feelings back, and they’ve been quite apparent in some of what we’ve gotten this year, but surprisingly enough the trend of mindlessness has been around since the first games were made. Hell, the era of the FPS began with Wolfenstein and Doom, whose stories were so simple they weren’t even relevant, character was non-existent, and the basic premise was to kill every “MEIN LEBEN” shouting motherfucker that got in your way and reach the end with an overpowered arsenal of weaponry. There were, of course, the ones that did have story and characters, but they didn’t come around until the late 90s/early 2000s. By 2005-2006, most games had a fixed story and were either serious or funny, or just plain stupid. Today’s feature presentation is not only an example of a mindless shooter, but also of one with a certain appeal…except it’s squandered. And I also get to mention porn without having to worry about getting in trouble So buckle up, get ready to see how Treyarch was lying last year as we take a look back in time, because the past…is Black. For those of you who didn’t pay attention to things back in the day, Black was an FPS developed in 2006 and published by the just-as-disliked-back-then-as-they-are-now Electronic Arts, and was notoriously for being made for one thing and one thing only: gun porn. Now we’re not talking hot chicks covering up the NSFW bits of their bodies with AKs like one scene from The Inglorious Bastards or anything like that, no no, we’re talking about making the firearms the main appeal of the game, making them all badass and detailed and ridiculous, and keeping the focus on shooting them rather than on chasing a bad guy down a busy street. Now this would be fine if they established this as a dumb, fun game, but no, they had to try and take this shit seriously to the point that it’s unintentionally hilarious, and also shows how plot and characters seem to be an afterthought. The developers apparently had originally worked on the Burnout games and –according to IMFDB- also had a developer who worked on one of the Need For Speed titles, and were planning a sequel to the game before EA decided to cancel it. And then the guys went off to Turning Point publisher Codemasters and produced a ‘spiritual successor’ called Bodycount, which apparently did poor enough to warrant Codemasters to shut the studio down. That’s probably for the best, seeing as the demo for Bodycount…was not all that good. But that’s a story for another time I supposed, let’s focus on this instead! Story: As I stated before, Black attempts to put its heavy focus on firearms and shooting them…and put them in a game that’s trying to play it straight. The result is humorous to say the least, but less in the sense of the satirical nature of the Bad Company games and more of how I can’t take Call of Duty Black Ops seriously. This will also be a bit hard to narrate on because the story is really thin, but that’s never stopped me before! Just don’t expect one of my longer ramblings GRALB tends to bring. We begin with opening credits and stock footage alongside some pretty decent music from…Michael Giacchino? Goddamnit man why do you compose for such crappy games? First Turning Point and now this? At least the score is better here, but even still. And…did I see something about live segments? Oh sweet Jesus don’t tell me they’re going the Sega CD route… Anyways, it cuts to live action in a dark CIA interrogation room in the back-end of nowhere where our hero, Jack Keller, is brought in cuffs to meet a man in sunglasses. Mr. Shades tells Keller if he doesn’t cooperate then all his operational history will be declassified, he’ll be discharged and he’ll be spending the rest of his life in federal pound-you-in-the-ass prison. What has our protagonist done to warrant this kind of treatment? Did he shoot his CO? See something he shouldn’t have? Cause an international incident? Does he have info the CIA wants? Put those questions aside, because the only point of this interrogation revolves around two words: It’s not numbers station, it’s Seventh Wave. The Seventh Wave is a global terror cell responsible for supplying insurgent groups with the three A’s of military groups: Arms, ammo, and advisors. Now at first I forgot the name of this group, and was only able to remember the “Seventh” part of it, and for a while I was close to calling them the Seventh Column until I realized that was Bungie’s whole made-up take over the world thing. Actually…no, fuck it, I’m calling them the Seventh Column now. In the world of Black the world is on the brink of annihilation by the evil terrorist organization Seventh Column that formed from militant fanboys after Bungie and Halo 2 were banned from the United States for being a gateway to insurgent cells, and Jack Keller must stop them before they develop plasma weapons to destroy America. Go USA. So the first thing Keller recounts is when he and some Black operators were sent to a town somewhere in Eastern Europe to eliminate the heads of Seventh Column, which also serves as an introduction to the basics of how the game works. Apparently he got the three and then went after a fourth, but in the cinematic that follows he explains that he didn’t kill the guy because he was an American and said something to him, but doesn’t remember the conversation due to an RPG almost killing the two of them. So that doesn’t really help. His next mission after that was to join up with a Lt. MacCarver (a woman, surprisingly) and destroy a Seventh Column weapons cache in Naszran, which leads to a semi-stealthy mission and then one where the two of them move through the town itself. The fourth man is identified as a rogue CIA operative named Lennox, who was acting as an advisor before mistakes were made and the CIA tried to off him but failed, and is now acting as the head of Seventh Wave. Once Keller reaches the foundry where Seventh Column is making the weapons, MacCarver provides sniper fire for a bit and Keller maneuvers through an unnecessary minefield and destroys the factories capacity to operate. In the next ceni, a third teammate is introduced, Sgt. Sullivan, via a recording of Mr. Shades talking to him about Lennox and how Keller is a loose cannon. There’s another person in Seventh Column mentioned, and the next mission is about how Keller and his team were sent to some abandoned asylum in Eastern Europe to find and either capture or kill him. They fight their way there but Keller disobeys orders to hold position and goes into the asylum itself to get the guy, leading to some insanity and eventually Keller capturing the guy to torture info out of him. Very fucking heroic. Interrogation brings the team to a dockyard, where they are meet with another Black Ops team and go after Lennox, but after some intense shooting they find that Lennox’s men got the best of their support and killed the- WHAT. There’s like a dozen dead bodies lying there, maybe more, and definitely BIGGER THAN THE FUCKING TEAM WE’VE BEEN STUCK WITH? No wonder they got killed, there’s so many guys they became a big target! When they report the casualties in, command orders them to pull out, but the three –Sullivan reluctantly, according to Keller- agree to say fuck it to orders and cross a heavily defended bridge leading to a abandoned gulag that Lennox. His team staying behind to cover him, Keller goes through the gulag alone, facing a lot of tough baddies and positions, moving through the gulag into an underground complex where he has to go through an endurance round and destroy some MG nests in a bunker that his target is apparently hiding in, resulting in a massive series of explosions and opening the bunker for Keller to proceed after his target. One last cinematic with reveals I had to read the wiki to figure out (according to it, the CIA had always known Lennox was secretly working with Seventh Column, and had expected Keller to disobey orders to get him and wanted it to happen, so he’s getting sent on another mission soon) and the game ends. …That was it? Not even the satisfaction of knowing we killed the guy we were hunting after? Fuck you game! You make me go through all this shit for this? Ugh…this is really one of the worst types of games, almost as bad as the most broken and terrible games out there, something that has the potential to be good or maybe decent and it just gets wasted on a lousy five-hour ride with little replay value or substance to it. Out of all the sequels that could’ve been or games that should’ve been made that EA’s decided to cancel, I think the planned one for this is one of the few that I say was justified. Not everything about Black is terrible though; the graphics are pretty good for 6th gen console games, a lot of the guns feel varied and unique, there’s destructible environments to a ridiculous level, and in fact there are some cool features that would be implemented in other EA games, such as the sound. You know that kind of awesome surround sound that Bad Company had? This game has it. The gameplay feels solid, a bit Halo-ish but that’s okay, and it did get progressively difficult as it progressed. But that really isn’t enough to justify getting this game (if you still own an older Xbox, but it’s also available On Demand) even if you are an FPS nut like me, plus, for a “gun porn” game, there aren’t really that many weapons. If you want a better game that’s funny, entertaining, destructive, and could be classified as “gun porn”, I recommend the Bad Company games or Battlefield 3.
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